New Museum Commemorating U.S. Bombing of a Bunch of Different Places to Open in Chicago

Poor Richard's History: Hoax news stories in the spirit of Dr. Franklin's "Silence Dogood"

Boeing_B-52_dropping_bombsChicago, IL—U.S. Secretary of the Interior Sally Jewell, Illinois Governor Pat Quinn, and Chicago Mayor Rahm Emmanuel announced today the planned opening of a museum dedicated to the commemoration of American bombing campaigns of the last 150 years. “This is the first museum of its kind in the world,” a jubilant Emmanuel intoned to the crowd gathered on the Magnificent Mile. “No one else can boast of having a place that preserves in the American memory the many, many instances of utter death and destruction wreaked by this nation on foreign—and domestic—enemies.”

The city won out over rival locations like Boston, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, and Atlanta. “The presence of the Boeing Company here in Chicago was a deciding factor in our getting the museum built here” Quinn said. Boeing, one of the largest manufacturers of military weapons in the world, has committed $25 million to the building of the museum, which will be called “The Museum of American Bombing.” Planned exhibits range from the shelling of Atlanta and Richmond during the Civil War, to the dropping of the atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki during World War II, to the bombing of Bosnia-Herzogovina during the Clinton Administration.

“The beauty of the museum,” Jewell said, “is that it will be ever-expanding and never static. We are leaving plenty of open space in the Obama wing to create more displays as we bomb more countries. In fact, planning for the Syria and Iran exhibits . . . uh, never mind. No more comment.”


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