History Channel Cancels Last Show about Actual History

Poor Richard's History: Hoax news stories in the spirit of Dr. Franklin's "Silence Dogood"

history-channel-7-0-s-307x512New York, NY—In a stunning move, Les Singerman, chairman of “History” (previously known as “The History Channel”), announced yesterday the cancellation of the popular series, “Pawn Stars,” due to the fact that it sometimes deals with history. “Look, I love Rick, Chum, Big Hoss, and the Old Man as much as the next guy,” Singerman explained. “But the hard fact is that sometimes the objects that people come into the store to pawn are history-related: everything from Confederate battle swords to Andy Warhol paintings to World War I gas masks. And this invariably leads to Rick or whoever talking about history. We just can’t have that on this channel.”

Singerman said that in recent years programming has become more cutting-edge, and that shows like “Ice Road Truckers,” “Mountain Men,” “Stan Lee’s Superhumans,” and the soon-to-premier “American Daredevils” are the future of the channel. “Now ‘Ancient Aliens’ will probably stay,” Singerman said, “because there’s not one darn thing factually accurate in the entire series. But we may have to reconsider “American Pickers” too, for the same reason as we are pulling ‘Pawn Stars.’”

While Singerman confirmed that the airing of outdated documentaries on off-hours will continue for the time being, executives are looking into replacing them with reruns of “Monster Quest” in the near future. Singerman also mentioned a new show in development called “Bingo Mafia,” which follows the strong-arm tactics of a group of elderly women at an Italian Catholic parish in Rochester, New York.


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