Poor Richard’s History

Hoax news stories in the spirit of Dr. Franklin's "Silence Dogood" letters

  • U.S. Government Admits It Has Ark of the Covenant

    Washington, D.C. – In a shocking announcement, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton today admitted that the United States government took possession of the long-lost Ark of the Covenant in the late 1930s in a scenario straight out of the classic film, Raiders of the Lost Ark. The government was forced to make the statement after […]

  • Historian Claims Second Shooter in Lincoln Assassination

    Provo, Utah— First there was the grassy knoll . . . and now there is the velvet chair. John Wilkes Booth did not act alone. That is the astounding claim of historian Steven A. Butler of Provo State College (Utah) in his new book, The Wrath of Rathbone: The Lincoln Assassination and the Second Shooter. […]

  • James Buchanan’s Ghost Haunting the White House: No One Scared

    Washington, DC—Recent overnight visitors to the White House, including Prime Minister Elio Di Rupo of Belgium and President Girma Wolde-Giorgis of Ethiopia, have reported seeing a mysterious, ghostly figure in vicinity of the Lincoln Bedroom. The clean-shaven man with thin white hair and a pronounced and constant tilt to his head sports a high collar […]

  • Underground Railroad Locomotive Discovered under Baltimore’s Camden Yards

    Baltimore, MD— A construction crew renovating a sidewalk at Oriole Park at Camden Yards made an amazing discovery this week: a locomotive that experts believe was part of the famous Underground Railroad. Operating in the early 1800s, the Underground Railroad transported escaped slaves from southern states to the North and Canada. Foreman Joe Klosky was […]

  • “Ancient Aliens” Guy to Provide Color Commentary for Super Bowl

    East Rutherford, New Jersey – In a stunning, last-minute move, Fox Sports has announced that Giorgio A. Tsoukalos, the famed, big-haired “ancient astronaut theorist” of The History Channel’s “Ancient Aliens” TV series will be providing color commentary for Super Bowl XLVIII between the Denver Broncos and Seattle Seahawks this Sunday night. When asked why Tsoukalos […]

  • Students Burn Down School–Common Core Blamed

    Nashua, NH—A group of junior-high students at Benjamin Pierce Elementary School today inadvertently burned down their school building. No one was hurt in the blaze, which occurred during lunchtime recess, when nearly all students were outside on the playground. The students who set the school aflame were apparently conducting unauthorized experiments in the school’s science […]

  • Fall of Rome Blamed on Early Common Core Educational Standards

    Hagerstown, MD– Historian Jack Kabalesky of Luther Martin College today argued that the Roman Empire fell primarily because it adopted an early version of the controversial Common Core educational curriculum. Previously, historians had blamed Rome’s fall on various factors: imperial overreach, political corruption, moral decay, the spread of Christianity, and barbarian invasion. But in a presentation […]

  • George Washington was Steroid User, Historian Claims

    Des Moines, IA—Historian William T. Appleby of The University of Iowa, Des Moines, makes a startling new claim in his new biography, Juiced: The Life and Times of George Washington–that the Father of the Country used metabolic steroids. “I know this will shock people,” Appleby explained to PRH. “But all you need to do is […]

  • History Channel Cancels Last Show about Actual History

    New York, NY—In a stunning move, Les Singerman, chairman of “History” (previously known as “The History Channel”), announced yesterday the cancellation of the popular series, “Pawn Stars,” due to the fact that it sometimes deals with history. “Look, I love Rick, Chum, Big Hoss, and the Old Man as much as the next guy,” Singerman […]

  • Rare “Selfie” from President McKinley’s 1901 Funeral Comes to Light

    Lansing, Michigan — Today a rare “selfie” photo of three famous Americans was verified by a historian as a legitimate photograph taken at the 1901 funeral of President William McKinley. The Americans in the photo are: William Jennings Bryan, the Democratic candidate for the presidency in 1896 and 1900; Elizabeth Cady Stanton, the famous advocate for […]

  • Indiana Repeals Common Core: Education System to Return to State of Heavenly Perfection

    Indianapolis – Governor Mike Pence today told a crowd of enthusiastic Common Core opponents that the state’s decision this week to discard the Common Core State Standards would return Indiana’s education system to the near-perfect condition it was in before the state adopted the standards in 2010. “Before we foolishly adopted the Common Core,” Pence […]

  • Credit Ben Franklin with Another Invention: Baseball

    Philadelphia, PA – Benjamin Franklin has been famously credited as both an inventor–of such items as the wood stove and bifocal glasses–and as a founder–of America’s first fire department and hospital–so perhaps it should come as no surprise that he is now being credited with inventing America’s pastime, baseball. Long the subject of controversy among […]